The Garage Sale Gauntlet

Ahhhh, early Saturday morning.  The sun is shining, the birds are singing; the other runners, the dog walkers and I have the world to ourselves.  Wait – what’s that, up ahead?  A throng of people!  Cars everywhere! But it’s 7 o’clock in the morning!  On a Saturday!

That’s right, it’s garage sale season.

As I headed out for my long run, it was the coolest it had been in weeks – two degrees below zero, Celsius.  There was frost on the rooftops and cars, and a dusting of snow on the grass.  But there it was; it was unmistakable.  There were cars parked on both sides of the street, facing the right or wrong direction, with more cars screeching to a halt in the middle of the road.  People criss-crossing the street without looking.  I couldn’t even see the tables of stuff due to the crowd clogging up the sidewalk.

I don’t know about where you live, but where I am, this garage sale stuff is pretty serious.  All of the polite “excuse me’s’ and “sorry, could I just get through here’s” in the world just don’t cut it as people hold their ground scrounging around looking for something wonderful.  There are passive-aggressive postures over tables; elbows are up.  There is avoidance of eye-contact as people pretend they didn’t see someone else reaching for something first as they snipe it.  They’re oblivious to my tights and headband that say “I don’t give a hoot about depression glass or first-edition classic novels, I just want to get by.”  It’s dangerous, I tell you!  You are risking a sharp kick in the shin if your motion is misinterpreted by someone’s peripheral vision!

The safest way to navigate this situation is to cross the street.  But if it turns out that it’s a street sale, be prepared to run on the grass by the curb because the sidewalks aren’t safe, and neither is the road.  But watch that you don’t run in a straight line towards anything, even by accident, or you risk being tackled.