Speed

Oh hi….

So, I’ve been sooooo busy. Super busy! I’ve been… um…..

OK! OK! I haven’t been THAT busy, just lazy. Writing lazy, not running lazy, though.

I’ve started training for the Army Half and I’ve been coaching my run clinic and I’ve been biking/swimming once a week with Steve in the frigid Atlantic Ocean and, well, this summer has been really rad so far.

My kids are at an awesome age. They aren’t babies! There are no diapers! They can eat on the fly and I don’t have to feed them! For heaven’s sake, they eat carrots as their post-swimming lessons snack everyday and then ask for more!!!

We’ve been at the beach and we’ve been riding bikes and there’s mini-golf and visits to friends at campgrounds and staying up late.

This summer has been a big deep breath of rejuvenation, that’s what it’s been. So, sorry for not writing more – but I am keeping track of my miles, and even starting to clock a few now that I’ve reinstated my Friday long runs (16k this week).

But, readers, I have a question for you. Or maybe it’s just a quest for reassurance.

I want to break two hours at the Army Half in September. That requires shaving five minutes off my previous time. And THAT requires speed training.

I…. I really really hate speed training. And… I’ve never really done it. Sure, I’ve done two or three weeks of it, but I’ve never actually stuck with it for long enough periods to see the benefits. Because it hurts and my brain is all WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? when I sprint.

In a testament of my husband’s love for me, we’ve decided to speed train together on Wednesdays from now until the race. (Seriously, this is a man with thick skin and a stubborn streak.)

Today we did 4x250metres. And then I cried. No, seriously, I cried. Not because of the pain but because of the anger and frustration. Because it’s hard and it makes me feel like a crappy runner and I don’t know, because I worry that maybe deep down I don’t have the strength to do it?

It’s so silly, because I *know* that all winter I was writing about pushing limits and testing boundaries and for me, that’s really easy to do on long runs or hill repeats, but grunting it out – on a track or for a personal best 5k – that’s where it’s really, really difficult.

So don’t do it then, my husband said to me. Run your two hour half marathons and enjoy it. But if you *want* to be faster, if you want to get better – this is what you have to do. And he’s RIGHT, of course he is, and I’m not satisfied to run my two hour half marathons only because I know that there is more in me. I’m just not entirely sure how to find it.

So tell me – does it get easier? Does it get better?

(Please say yes.)