Runnin’ on Empties

I am a recovering alcoholic and point blank, between you and me, running has kept me sober for 17 months. Oh, yes, this is fresh! I could relapse as I write.
Being sober is a new idea for me, but running is not.

Long before I drank seriously, I ran, as most kids do, effortlessly. I ran for play, I ran for sports, I ran for transportation, I ran for competition and some days, like Forrest Gump, I just ran.

Running was equivalent to freedom and freedom meant unburdened time to think. I would mull over the possible problems on the next day’s math test. I would contemplate the all important decision of which boy to play with before the math test. My mind would wander to what I would wear for the math test, knowing full well that I was really designing an outfit to wear for the boy, not the math test. If the truth be known, I was really only concerned about beating the boy, in the next week’s 100 meter sprint.

Those thoughts were so easy compared to the constant dialogue in my head, theses days. There are two distinct voices chattering in my psyche and not in a “coo-coo” kinda way. The battle rages in a “Good Angel” vs. “Bad Angel” way.

Bad Angel: “…go home and drink beer!”

Good Angel: “…after the next kilometer.”

Bad Angel: “You know you can taste it.”

Good Angel: “Oh, yes I can”.

Bad Angel: “Just one icy, cold glass of beer.”

Good Angel: “No, six icy glasses.”

Bad Angel: “Go now!”

Good Angel: “…after the next kilometer.”

Sometimes the kilometers go on for a long time before the temptation to drink has passed…but most mercifully, it does recede. On a good day, 5-10km nips it in the “Bud”, on a bad day full of worries and fears it can take much longer to quell the Bad Angel’s demand for comfort…“Southern Comfort”.
This is in part, why I have decided it’s time to challenge BA’s chatter natter in my brain matter with 42.2 km. The farther I run, the more I notice the trees, the gardens and the houses and the less I hear “beer, beer, beer”. I am hoping to out run alcoholism with this plan. It’s working so far.