Remember my hard core running friend?? Well, she told me that I needed a goal. She recommended that I register for the Resolution Run on New Years Eve. That was 5k, that was huge for India and I. She mentioned it a couple of times and eventually I was brave enough to check it out online. Something possessed me to register. Once I had done that I was really quite frightened. It all became very real. India and I now had a goal. With running conditions worsening as winter took hold, we began training three times a week, aiming for the better weather days not always successfully. We had good days and bad days. The toughest times were when we were out for a run and we either got to a bad hill, (in the early days any hill was bad), or the wind was really cold, or the snow or rain was coming down in our faces. When India was really pushed and it was all too much she would yell ‘Mom’. I would turn around and look at her, and her little face would be all flushed and she would be fighting back the tears ‘Mom I can’t do this, I can’t go on’. My heart broke. I had to battle between wanting to wrap her up and take her indoors and say you never have to do this and wanting to tell her to never give up because we had come so far. We got through those bad times. She wanted to carry on running. We are still a team, and we still have those tough times, but now we have larger goals and anyway………isn’t spring on its way???

…To take a clinic, or not to take a clinic… this is the question i asked myself… i have to say that i am not sure i could have done it any other way and stuck with it. Possibly if i ran with someone that was willing to take the time and motivate me through the process, but the camaraderie, the talks, the walks, the laughs, the struggles and the final run were worth every second of my time… I chose the clinic, but what ever you do, don’t do it alone because if the journey is worth doing it is worth sharing. Some of my best memories and experiences have been because I did it as a group and we all worked towards the goal helping to push and motivate each other to get there. Oh yah, and when you pay for it, you are more likely to go and get your money’s worth!!

Knowing someone else is there to meet you for your run, or giving a speech or taking roll call, or going to give you that extra tip… makes you more accountable and gets you out the door. When you finished your run, you will be so glad you did it and that beer, i mean recovery drink tastes sooooooo much better after a good run!!  Change your socks, change your shirt and if need be, change your attitude: Life can be amazing if you want it to be. You are the only thing that is stopping you from reaching your goals so get out of your way and start moving!

Please be sure to set your clothes out well before you leave for work if you are meeting people right afterwards… don’t assume your running bra, shoes, shorts and shirt are in the bag… and don’t dress in the dark… no one needs to know the size of your clothes while they run behind you!!

TOTB: the answer to last blog in regards to troubles in your run… IMODIUM… many of my running buddies and i take this before a big race when we don’t want to take unexpected an unappreciated breaks… 

BOTB: when you have to spit or toss your gum… look before you spit… gum can bounce off in the cold… spit… not so much… 

i spent the weekend video taping some footage on some blunders… watch for them in up coming blogs…

I did it!! I went right out and went for a run right after completing my last BLOG entry!! Even after checking the weather and seeing that there was a freezing rain and that there was a wind warning in effect I got ready and went for it!!! It wasn’t the best run I have had, not by a long shot, but when you run in Canada you have to take what Mother Nature throws at you and deal with it. Fair weather runner my a$$!!!

It wasn’t that bad; the wind was pretty brutal, so much so that I swear I saw white caps in a puddle!! And the ice pellets, well, they only hurt for a second or so after being blown into my face by the aforementioned wind! Overall I kept it pretty short due to the weather but that feeling of accomplishment you get from finishing a run was still there when I was done! It was there again when I finished my run on Sunday, a much better day for running but still with the wind chill not what we fair weather runners would call ideal!

So can I say that I am no longer a member of the fair weather running club???? Does going out once in crappy weather and another time in freezing cold allow me to remove that tag?? Probably not but it is a start.  I know all of you runners out there that have been running all winter are probably thinking that I need to get out way more often in much worse weather to be able to get myself out of that club and into the classification of ‘all weather runner.’ Well, it looks like I will have my chance!! I have just read that Environment Canada is predicting that we are in for some pretty bad weather in March so maybe by the end of the month I will be able to remove myself from that group!  That is if I can find the time to get out as often as I need to.

Are you seeing a reoccurring theme here in my BLOG?? Time! Or more specifically lack of it. Thankfully I have the support of my family and they are doing all they can to ensure that I have the time to get out and put on the miles!

Here is a great example of how helpful they are. My 8 month old daughter may have come across the best time management advice you will ever hear. She feels that you can get more out of your day if you are up longer. Translation: don’t sleep at all! Pretty bright for an 8 month old isn’t she?  She actually took it upon herself to ensure that this past weekend I actually ran more km’s than hours slept. This would be ok if I was putting in long runs in the range of 20km but I am afraid that ship is way off in the distance and my km total for the weekend was probably in the 10 range. (I can’t tell exactly as my Garmin decided to run out of batteries 5 minutes into Sunday’s run, the fun never stops!!)

Anyway, here’s hoping for some great weather this week to get out and put some good mileage on! But hey, if Mother Nature decides to be a pain in the ass then at least it gives me the chance to get out of the fair weather running club…if I can find the time J

        I’ve been labeled.  I ducked, I dove, I danced around it, I swerved to avoid – but it hit me nonetheless.  It’s funny, I often joke with my husband that when we run together he needs a bull’s-eye painted on his back. Firstly, he runs faster than me, and secondly his directions are terrible.  Obediently running left on his suggestion would often lead me into a hedge or another runner.  Not that I don’t appreciate the attempt – we have just not had the time to train together enough to learn the guide signals.  That’s what happens when you are temporarily passing ships in the sea.  But this label had it in for me.  It was thrown, no bull’s-eye needed, shear determination was steering it my way.  And so it hit me, square on the shoulders.

        However, unlike most labels, which carry under wing the weight of responsibility, this label lifted me up.  Someone dared to call me an athlete; they were even brave enough to say it to my face.  Of course their courage may have stemmed from their ability to get away before I could find them.  Just wait; tripping over a white cane can really hurt.

        To look truth square in the face is not only frightening, but emotionally exhausting.  The kind of exhaustion that is akin to trying to win an argument with a two year old.  It’s a sort of endless, unproductive, futile exhaustion that any parent, teacher or caregiver can attest to. 

So, when you stop and ponder what ‘athlete’ means, what characteristics do you think about?

        I think of strength – so here I think of my husband, who after hours and hours of work goes to the gym bright eyed and bushy tailed.

        I think of endurance – so here I think of my lead guide who has and will run amazing distances constantly testing his limits.

        I think of determination – so here I think of my sister who is determined to put time on the tread mill at the end of a crazy day with my adorable niece.

        I certainly do not think; stubborn (don’t ever tell me I can’t do something as it’s very time consuming for me to attempt to prove you wrong), time management fiend (I literally know how many seconds I need in the morning to tie my running shoes taking into account that the toddler probably put something gooey inside), obsessively organized (all the knives in my drawer face the same direction), disabled mother of three children (10 going on 30, 7 going on 5, and 18 months going on two), and student (studying muscles on the tread mill is a great way to pass the time).  No, I do not link the term ‘athlete’ with myself at all. 

        Labels have a way of being narrowing, or constricting.  This label carries itself on the winds of passion.  It comes to me softly in the night before an early morning run, whispering offers of health, healing and of course the promise of coffee and chocolate upon my return.  There is also the added advantage of missing the first diaper change of the day.  This simple adjective is self consuming, and brings itself full circle around you and your life goals.  It makes no assumption as to your workout or dietary plans for the day.  It doesn’t deliver punishment for running 6km instead of 7km.  It doesn’t care that your time was ten minutes slower than yesterday.  It simply murmurs quietly ‘I’m here, I’m waiting’.

        Running for me is about a journey.  In my timid beginnings and initial contacts with my guides, I spoke that I’d like to begin such a ‘journey of the feet’, but was leery as to how to get there.  It was simple, I was assured, you get there by starting, by putting one foot in front of the other.  You don’t attempt a camping trip by booking a hotel; you pack your tent.  You do not need to be specially equip to begin something, you simply need to begin.  That in itself makes you special.

        Of course in every beginning there are many questions and riddles that need answering.  The path beneath my feet is not always level.  Indeed that ground sometimes seems to disappear.  Early morning runs have a way or a mannerism of inspiring an energetic day.  Zipping up the running coat (my fourth layer these days), slipping into the yak tracks (hopping on one foot while trying desperately not to fall and make enough ruckus to wake the sleeping kids) and turning the handle of my door in just such a way so as to avoid the squeak that comes if done too fast – It’s all part of a routine that spreads comfort through my mind and an excited calm within my bones.   

        There are many steps on this trail that have given me joy.  My energy level is higher, which gives me more room to enjoy the endless energy my children seem to have.  It’s also improved my sense of humour.  Something I’m sure my husband appreciates.   It certainly helps me appreciate when my eldest son brings me home an award from school for always washing his clothes. 

         The morning once a week when I venture to the gym to run inside, my routine is different and it offers me very different things.  Pack the bag with school books, pack the bag for the gym, time the bus, start the laundry, and organize the kitchen so the kids can get to their lunches.  The very last thing I do on my way out the door is check to make sure I have $1.25 for my coffee post run.  The other day, I could not find it.  Then remembering that I had paid my husbands library fine the day before, I went to his wallet to look for a replacement.  Now this wouldn’t be a normal activity for me – going through my husband’s wallet.  However if one of us is more likely to carry cash, it’s him. The house was dark, my time was almost up, and the bus would be coming soon.  I searched through the money pocket with one hand, my other hand lugging all the bags that needed to come with me, my left foot holding the door ajar willing it not to squeak.  Balance is not my strong point. Grasping what I found, I removed my hand holding two things (neither money); an appointment card for the dentist, and a folded lined piece of paper. 

        Now I am my husband’s biggest fan, and am not the jealous type.  I fully realised that this was a letter, a hand written letter no less and carried in his wallet.  A letter I had no business reading or touching or discovering.  I was intruding and had breached a privacy in the name of coffee money.  It’s amazing how the change of routine can make the whole morning seem altered and confused.  However much I knew this was none of my business; I also had the thing in my grasp, in my hands already.  What would you have done? 

I regret to say I opened it – and then grunted so loudly I almost woke the kids.  It was a letter, a love letter no less…. I struggled to replace the paper quickly and leave the house running to catch the bus.  The rest of the day I had no coffee, but the adrenaline from my experience carried me through.  I put one foot in front of the other; continuing my ‘journey of the feet’, letting the winds of passion carry me. Because you see….

The letter was from me.