There is a calm before dawn, a husky, fibrous, determination that lingers in the fog. It’s a calling, a whisper, a tugging invitation that beckons me early in the morning. And for all its calmness, there is a hidden desperation; as if the world yearns to be explored in its stillness, before the explosion of life and light.

“Come forth,” it whispers, “put on your bravery, don your courage – plant you toes in my soil and I will comfort you”.

This peace, this quiet soulfulness etches its way into my very being on my morning runs – like an overused etch-a-sketch that retains its previous masterpieces. Running has forever changed my life. I have enjoyed learning how to be productive without frantic, how to be quietly appreciative of my new self. I say my ‘new’ self, because we are all in constant flux and flow. This can be a terrifying reality. As they say; “People often fear the change that doesn’t jingle in their pockets”.

My recent thoughts have been about this quiet time and how much I’ve gained from it; mostly how much I’d like to share it. My oldest son, Xavier (7), has expressed an interest in running. He is a sensitive, active soul, who constantly is absorbed in learning and challenging boundaries. A few weeks ago both he and my daughter, Terese (10), participated in the 1km fun run held during the YMCA half marathon. They, along with the children of our dear friends (and the recipients of many a banana bread) ventured out in the winter storm that day to strike out new ground. Xavier let loose like a rabid wolf from the start and returned at gasping jog. He was flushed with determination and the joy of his race was beaming from his eyes. (All of the above of course spoken from that knowledge a mother has about their children even when they can’t see them!) All four of the kids thoroughly enjoyed themselves. It is wonderful to find something new to share with my children.

Since that day, Xavier’s mentioned his ongoing interest and I’ve only found the time once so far to actually take him out. Now this is a difficult story to share, as with anything a mother does, there are so many levels, so many occurrences all in the space and time of twenty minutes, that it is hard to describe them. After a while they blend together like the raw ingredients of a quiche…. You know that once upon a time there were eggs separate from everything else, you just can’t figure out how.

His excitement upon leaving the house was phenomenal. It was like watching popcorn about to explode with new life. It seemed like he was about to run his first marathon. I have to learn how to bottle that energy. However, when you are out with your children, you tend to be protective. You also tend to follow all the rules and set good examples. Xavier found it difficult to understand that we were ‘allowed’ to run on the road. “Did they give you special permission mommy?” At what point does that my-mother-knows-everything feeling fade? Did you hear that thud? That was the sound of me falling of my pedestal.

There was also the issue that we were guide free, which gave Xavier an extra job. It was a difficult job because he was still so excited that he has started to stutter and use a supersonic speed and volume while talking. There was also the fact that I started him the way I was started; with 1 minute running and 1 minute walking; remembering to be slow enough that he could breath and talk normal. (A difficult task what with the supersonic monolog that he had going). Most obvious was his desire to tear off into the distance leaving mommy in the dust (or snow in our case). He tried to run slow, bless his little overworking heart, he tried. In the end it looked like he was doing a rendition of a zigzagging stupor – taking five over zealous steps for each one necessary step.

Due to my poor vision I often explain to my kids that I see with my ears. In this situation it was difficult to hear (see) anything because Xavier was zigzagging and supersonic speed talking all around me. I felt displaced from my usual serenity of my morning runs with the stampeding elephant sized bumble bees dancing around me. It was glorious. Timing the minutes was provided another interesting twist as it was more distraction for my eyes. As I kept checking the clock; I was trying to place myself in space using the sound of Xavier’s feet as a GPS device.

My goal was to fill his 7 year old soul with pride, determination and eager stillness. Instead he filled mine with energy, love and humour. Looking at the horizon with Xavier by my side; both pairs of runners double knotted, both pairs of hands shaking with cold, made me grateful for the opportunity to be grateful. I think the Toronto 5 km zoo run is Xavier’s big goal. As for my horizon? I see Sunday’s Achilles 5 km St. Patrick’s Day run going well, surrounded by good friends and running feet. Then, in the distance, I see Ottawa’s 10 km calling me forward; encouraging me to etch a new sketch in my soul – to become a new me, one step at a time.

There is nothing more important than knowing there is someone in your corner.  Someone who believes in you totally.  Who believes that you can do whatever you put your mind to, even if you do have to pay them for that support.

I don’t know about you, but the first couple times I had to change my running shoes, I had no idea what was going on and how to tell the difference between an acutal injury and my body telling me in no uncertain terms,  “Hey, you.  Ya I’m talking to you.  Ya, you the one in the lousy shoes.  If you don’t get rid of these things, you are going to be really sorry.  The things we are going to do to you!”

So off I went to my best friend Donnie Smith of Elite Health.  He does Active Release Therapy, which is  a form of massage one of the features in this month’s magazine.    I pay him to be in my corner.  But with him in my corner, there isn’t anything I can’t do. 

The first time I went to see him was when I developed that funky Elephant Man ankle.  I learned then, that self diagnosis is a bad thing.  I sat in Donnie’s office and while he examined my ankle I gave him the diagnosis.

Donnie was so sweet.  He let me ramble on for several minutes before he told me that the Internet was a bad thing unless it was used properly.  And that perhaps I should let the professionals do the diagnosing. 

He was pretty clear that he would do his job, which was making me  better and able to run again.  We weren’t clear what my job was, other than no more self diagnosing.  And to run to the best of my ability.

Still seems like a pretty good trade.  Donnie keeps me going and able to run.  And I keep away from medical health sites.

I think I have mentioned a couple of times that no matter how I am feeling before, 99% of the time I feel great after getting out for a run.  Today, Mar 11, was that one percent.  The run itself was tough; there is a wind warning in Ottawa today with winds expected to gust up to 90km/hr.  I can believe it!  Now I am not the most aerodynamic runner and running into a wind like that makes me feel like I am standing still! Of course with the wind at my back it should be easy right?  Well today the wind was so strong it felt like I was running downhill! Some other interesting sights on today’s run; again waves in puddles, birds flying backwards and leaves and garbage passing me as I run. Overall a thumbs down for today.

On the plus side, if the 99% rule is true I have a long way to go before my next run like that! 🙂

It took us a lot of courage to become a road runner. This involved public running after all, and you have to remember we are beginners. We didn’t mean to like it on the roads! We were sure we were destined to be permanent trail runners, hidden from public view, but once the icy trails pushed us out onto the roads that is where we stayed. I work with the public and all too frequently someone would say to me ‘I saw you running with your daughter’. I would inwardly cringe, knowing how very beginnerish we are, and say something like, ‘Did I look like I was having a coronary?’ Apparently I didn’t look like imminent death, but people are always keen to point out to me that ‘your daughter was in front of you’. I know this already. she is more than 20 years younger than me!! People are mostly subtle about saying that they saw us on the run, the odd one honks their horn, but most wait for the pleasure of telling me to my face that they saw us running, when they see me next. There must be some pleasure in seeing me breath in sharply, and wait for further comment and then the enormous relief when the conversation moves on!

Esther is a lady whose enthusiasm for life is catchy.  I love being around her.  She is always so positive and so, well enthusiastic.  I just got back from a run tonight, and was taking more pictures for my blog when she came outside and grabbed my arm and said, “You have to hear this.  This is just the funniest thing you ever heard.”

And I believed her.  So in we go, she is giggling all the way. 

Janice has been a walker longer than she has been a runner.  She briefly flirted with running and I was fortunate enough to run with her while she flirted.  She says she can walk faster than I can run.  And I believe her.

She holds up this plain looking pair of  black gloves and says,  “I’ve lost these gloves.”

Clearly she hasn’t because she is holding them in her hand. 

And then the tale of these miraculous gloves unfolds. 

She went to Fortino’s last week after walking with leader Cathy and the rest of the walking group.  And lost the gloves.

Janice called Fortino’s and was shocked to learn that someone had found the gloves.  And turned them into lost and found.  Back she goes to Fortino’s where she picks up the not lost gloves.

Since Cathy, Janice and the rest of the walkers are getting ready to do their very first Around the Bay, they have been walking longer distances each Saturday.  Last week was a 26 km walk in the Dundas Valley.  A great place for runners to go too.

But while there, Janice lost her gloves.  Again.  She thought for sure this time they were gone.

Never one to be caught unprepared, Janice had a lovely pair of black gloves for tonight’s walk.  The new gloves even had a really cool fringe along the edge, that screamed out “I’m a fashion statement, not a sweaty, smelly athlete.”

Thankfully, she didn’t have to subject the fashionista’s to such a horrible fate.  You got it, the gloves found their way back to Janice again.  After having been washed.

 I can’t help wonder though, if the third  time is the charm.

Well, we scheduled our indoor last set of intervals for today so we would not have to venture out into the Abyss of Frozen Pathways… yes, we jammed on the cold and went indoors… However, we will go for a recovery run tonight and with the time change it just might be in the last stages of sunlight… speaking of recovery runs…

TOTB: a couple of things about recovery… the runs should be very SLOW and meant to work out the kinks, flush out the system and help you to feel better for your next run. Also, we drink chocolate milk after our runs (mostly our speed work, long runs and tempo runs) because it is instantly taken into your body (liquid is faster than solid food), and it contains both protein and carbs to help replenish what your body has just used up… tastes great, less expensive than Boost and very tasty i might add…

BOTB: Speaking of recovery, make sure that you also try to maintain your liquids during your runs/races because you will get to a point where you feel nauseated, which could be from dehydration and strain on your body, and you won’t want to consume anything because you feel so… well… nauseated… After an Ultra i came in feeling great, even though i knew i was dehydrated and lacking of salt and carbs and protein… well, an hour or so later, i was very sick, and lets say had to spend time in the bathroom before leaving the site, then along side the road as I drove home, then had to give up driving all together… drink well before you feel like you can’t consume anything…

Very cold run today… -24C plus the windchill brought it down to -32C… then you hit the low river valley so it was even colder… but the sun was shining and the snow was cleared so it ended up being a fantastic run… We are going to hit 115km this week so we will have a couple of double days and mostly 12km runs but once this week is over, only 4 more weeks at 103km and then we TAPER!!! i can hardly wait…

TOTB: One thing that can really break up some of your runs, add a change of pace and make a huge difference in your speed and endurance is core strengthening… not just abs because that is only a portion of your overall core, but working your upper body, glutes, lower back, hams and quads will really keep you strong during the longs races so you don’t end up hunched over near the end… check out the link site to see some runners stopping for a core break…

BOTB: Make sure that what happens on the trails, stays on the trails: your workouts, runs, and races are going to put your body through a lot of strains and stressors and like all things under pressure your body will need to let out a little steam now and then… and if there is a hole, that is considered a fair game outlet for your body… it is a lot easier to work out when the pressure is gone so go ahead  and clear your nose empty your throat and pass the gas… it really does a body good!!