So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life’s
a Great Balancing Act.

I read that out loud to my kids tonight. They were lying on either side of me, heads against my shoulders.

I wish I could protect them somehow, or prepare them better. That my thoughts would float above their heads and settle in somewhere. To go easy on themselves. To forgive themselves. To believe in themselves. I wish I could form a wall around them that would block any pain that will come their way in the coming years. I wish I could wrap them in my arms and hold them so tightly that they’d never question all the unanswerable things in this world.

I wish I could protect their innocence.

It’s heartbreaking, you know. Being a parent. My heart constantly walks around outside of my body. I am a prime target for pain, because I have no protection anymore.

*****

Last week, I spent one evening hunched over an excel spreadsheet, creating a training program for the Ottawa Marathon in 2011. I poured over the calendar and the books I have. I’ve even incorporated a half in February, to break up the training.

*****

Earlier this week, I attended a Body Image conference at a local university. In the past five years, I’ve felt neutral about my body, loathed my body, and looked at my body as a tool for breeding and feeding children. It wasn’t until I started running long distance that I began to appreciate my body. That I began to see the purpose behind my solid thighs, my thick calves. Sure, I can’t pull off skinny jeans (or, more literally, I can’t pull on skinny jeans), but what do skinny jeans really matter?

It isn’t about jeans at all, you see. It isn’t about beauty or weight or skinny or curly hair or anything you have or don’t have. It’s about belief and confidence. It’s about being right with yourself. Because until you’re right with yourself, you won’t be able to be anything other than intimidated by the strengths and accomplishments of others.

*****

So here I go again, committing to another marathon. I’m not great at balancing things, so I know that there will be weeks when the laundry gets pushed aside for a long run, and there will be long runs that make me question my ability to keep going, and there will be flirtations with injuries and burn-out weeks and tears an frustrations throughout the next seven months.

*****

But on you will go
though the weather be foul.
On you will go
though your enemies prowl.
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl.
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get tired
and your sneakers may leak.

My family eats really well. Virtually zero processed foods, lots of veggies, lean meats, whole grains for the kids.

We’ve come a long way from the days with a toddler who refused anything besides Cheerios, blueberries, yogurt or applesauce. From the first bite of peas, she hated vegetables (with a flare for the dramatic that still exists, my then eight-month-old gagged on them until her dad scraped them off her tongue with a spoon). When she turned three, we implemented a “three bite” rule (three bites of vegetables). It was a fight every night. Sometimes we won, sometimes we relented, and sometimes it seemed that everyone lost (aren’t family dinners supposed to be a happy time?). She turned four, and the new rule became “four bites.” Then the magic seemed to take over. She… *whispers* likes vegetables. I mean, she asked for carrot sticks the other day, happily munched on celery, eats…. BROCCOLI. As you can tell, the novelty has not yet worn off.

We’ve never had to enforce the same rule with my two year old. She attacks vegetables with reckless abandon. She shoves whole pieces of broccoli in her mouth, worries me with the speed she eats tomatoes. It seems that her rule is: The more, the faster, the better.

Anyhoo, the point of this is that I put a lot of effort into making sure my kids (and husband and self, of course) eat well. Sure we have goldfish crackers and cookies, but we definitely don’t have dessert every night. And when we do have sweets, it’s quite often something I’ve made, which just seems better somehow than pre-packaged junk. They don’t eat candy. We don’t have it in the house, I don’t buy it for them. Simple.

Enter Halloween.

I’ve decided to approach this year a little differently. My usual course of action is to fret nervously about the amount of candy they’ll be consuming for, oh, a good two weeks in advance. (I come from a long line of fretters, you see.)

With such a well balanced diet, one night of indulgence isn’t going to hurt. We let them attack their stash on Halloween night, encouraging them to try everything, open as much as they want! (The trick? They take one bite of most of the stuff and leave the rest behind. Then I eat it throw it out.) I keep the candy around for a week or so, and yes, they can have a small treat after supper probably every night. Then I toss it.

My little healthy eaters have sensitive bellies, you see. Too much sugar makes them feel sick, and after a week of Smarties (or whatever) every night, they’re as sick of it as I am. So they don’t miss it.

We talk about what food does, how it fuels your body, makes you stronger, faster, smarter. We talk about treats and how it’s fun to have them once in a while. They’re smart kids. My four-year-old gets it, she understands. My toddler, while more headstrong and, uh, determined, than her sister, is obviously too young to understand, but at least she’s got a toddler’s memory.

What about you? Are you a Halloween fretter? Indulger? Avoider?

“I just wish people would realize that anything’s possible if you try; dreams are made possible if you try.”

Terry Fox

VICKY: Wow this is one great book.

GRANT: You said it.  I am loving this so far.

VICKY: What stands out the most for you?

GRANT: Just how inspiring he is.  How crazy he was, just to have such a big dream and go for it.  Its beautiful to consider.  I wish I had half the courage.

VICKY: Me too.

GRANT: Terry’s story cannot help but have an impact on your life.  It makes you reconsider who you are.  What is your commitment and engagement with life?  How much further we all have to go to be selfless and care about other people?

VICKY: It’s humbling.

GRANT: Yeah.  That is the thing about Terry’s impact.  It cuts both ways.  On the one hand you are inspired by what he accomplished.  On the other hand you can’t help but look at your own life and think – how pathetic.  I’ve never and will never accomplish anything as magnificent as he accomplished, even if I live four times as long.  How depressing.

VICKY: Yes well you have to play the cards you were dealt with in this life and that is one of the noblest things about Terry’s life.  He appeared not to have spent much time getting down about what happened to him.  He just absorbed it and lived with it. In some way, I wish everyone could just find the same strength to accept what is happening in their lives and to find something positive out of it.  I dare you all to sit back for a minute and find one positive thing about the crappiest part of your life. You’ll find that it’s there, if you choose to open your eyes and look.

GRANT: Yeah.  The greatest people are like that.  In our own lives we know people who are confronted by tragedy, disability etc.  I can think of some people.

VICKY: As can I.  Cancer struck three of the most important people in my life in the last year, including both my mother and father. I witnessed first hand the courage, determination and refusal to be intimidated by this horrible disease.  Thank gawd we all have a sense of humour in my family otherwise, it would have made these ordeals a lot worse. I can attest to the fact that true strength is often found within your mind and not your muscles.

GRANT: I agree 100%. We are surrounded by inspiring people in each of our lives.  This is why this book is so great. It’s very simply written.  It tells a great story.  Perhaps from a more intimate perspective that you may have heard before.  We encourage everyone to read it!

VICKY:  We also wanted to say….Hey Vancouver! Rename your airport will ya? Check out Endorphin Junkie’s blog. She talks about the following:

“There’s a new petition to rename Vancouver International Airport for Port Coquitlam native and Canadian hero, Terry Fox.”

GRANT: Why not?  I’d also rename Stanley Park while they are at it.  Terrance Stanley Fox Park.  Who the hell is Stanley by the way?

VICKY: Lord Stanley was a Governor General of Canada from 1888 to 1893.  He also donated this small trophy to a hockey tournament…you might have heard of it before…the Stanley Cup!

GRANT: Geek. How do you know this stuff?

VICKY: I was a tour guide at Rideau Hall the Governor General of Canada’s residence when I was in university.

GRANT: Well, no offence to Governor Generals, but nobody knows who this person is or why they have one of the most beautiful parks in the entire world named after them.   Rename the airport.  Rename the Park.  Look Canada, it’s not like we have a million famous heroes.  We may as well celebrate the ones we do have.

VICKY: What do you folks think about renaming the Vancouver International Airport?

GRANT: And Stanley Park?

I set myself a little goal last week: six runs in two weeks. No biggie, but things have been so busy (and consiquently I’ve been so tired) that I needed something to help me stay on track. (I use the Nike+ system, so everything’s recorded online by my watch.)

This morning was scheduled to be run number four. Except… it was really windy. I told myself to bring my gym bag with me and decide about running once I got to school. As I steered the car out of the daycare parking lot and realized I was running later than usual, I heaved a heavy sigh. to run or not to run. Busy weekends mean the only day I can get one in is Sunday, and it’s supposed to rain all weekend.

I parked the car an hour before my scheduled meeting, hurried to the gym and changed into my running gear. Just ten minutes out, I told myself, and if it’s too cold or windy or hard then you can turn around. The age old wisdom.

Into the park and through narrow trails, I didn’t even check my watch until 15 minutes into the run. My legs were heavy and my body was tired and my 5k took me four minutes longer than it did a few days ago (I chalked it up to the many hills and muscle fatigue), but I did it.

Even though I did arrive at my meeting with hair wet from the shower and face still flushed.

There is definately something to this Goal Setting.

Yesterday had so much potential. The morning rain storm was quickly blown away and replaced by the kind of blustery-blue-skied autumn day that Nova Scotia is known for. My husband was off work, the kids and I were home. We ran errands and bought pots of fall flowers and played t-ball in the backyard and yet, it just… sucked.

It was one of those days, you know? When your skin is crawling and everything everyone says either grates on your nerves or insults your very being.

My two year old was not her happy, sweet self, she was cranky and whiny and clingy. I got after the kids and snapped at my husband and finally when they went outside to play, I turned on the shower, made it as hot as I could stand and washed away all the frustration and stress. By the time I was finished, my husband had to leave for his evening class and it was time to start cooking supper. The day that was filled with potential had been a bust.

This morning, after the kids were at daycare and before Steve went to work and I went to school, we went for a hard rough run in the woods. There were puddles and rocks to jump around and one impossibly long hill. Steve sprinted ahead, nimbly skipping from rock to rock and over the puddles. The dog crashed through, the bigger the splash, the better. And I trudged along, running as fast as I could when the ground was flat, and doing my best not to fall into the puddles or twist my ankle when the trail got rough.

Life’s kind of like that, isn’t it? Sometimes you’re flying, running so fast, you can’t imagine ever slowing down. Sometimes everything goes smoothly. But inevitably, big puddles come along. And you have three choices. 1) Stop dead in your tracks, turn around and go home. 2) Hop nimbly from rock to rock, getting neither your toes wet nor your sneakers dirty. 3) Just keep going, no matter the muck on your sneakers or the pain in your ankles. Just make it through without breaking anything.

I can’t turn away from the shitty days, because, quite bluntly, it’s not an option. As much as I’d love to pull the blind shut and crawl into bed, it’s just not possible. Nor am I the type of person who can nimbly hop from rock to rock. Inevitably, I trip. Or fall. Or at the very least, tip the rock over and stomp my foot square into the deepest park of the puddle. And so, I continue on. With cold, wet socks and muddy shoes. I ran up that insanely steep hill today, legs burning and by the top, I could barely lift my legs. I reached the crest, finally, only to see my (agile, fast) husband killing time waiting for me by doing lunges.

There is always going to be someone (many someones) fast, smarter, stronger, thinner, better than you. That’s the bad news.

The good news is that it’s not about them. Life is not a race or a test or a competition of any sorts. Life is about running up your own hills, making it through your own puddles. There are shitty days, there will always be shitty days. But sprint, if you can, through them. If you don’t have the energy to sprint, then run, or walk, or trudge, or crawl, or drag yourself. But make it through.

Because you have to. But also? Because you can.

“I remember being a six-year-old boy and waking up every morning and rushing to the TV to see where Terry was that day.”  Steve Nash

GRANT: So, where are you at with the book? I’m at Chapter 4.

VICKY: I’m near the end of Chapter 3. It feels odd to read this book because I feel like I was there yet I obviously wasn’t since I hadn’t even turned 1 when he started his run.

GRANT: Ah Vickster, such a young pup! I’m a bit older than you so I remember Terry and his run. It gives me chills just thinking about it.

VICKY: I wish I was older and could have taken part in his journey in some way. He ran for 143 days from St. John’s, Newfoundland to Thunder Bay, Ontario for a total of 5,373 kilometres. Not only did he run but he spoke to and met thousands of Canadians along the way. I’m so proud of him and what he stands for that it gets a bit overwhelming sometimes when I read this book.

GRANT: Well, you are taking part in his journey. That’s the thing about Terry, no matter when or where, he makes us all feel like we’re a part of his journey because in my opinion, his journey continues. Whether it’s through fundraising, running the Marathon of Hope or simply keeping his legacy alive. That’s what we’re doing right now my friend, we’re spreading the good word by bringing all this information and attention to the man and his cause.

VICKY: You’re right but it’s not like making a documentary about the man. I was watching TSN the other night and I saw a promo for a new documentary about Terry Fox. Guess who’s the filmaker? I’ll give you one clue:  Canadian basketball superstar.

GRANT: Steve Nash?

VICKY: Yup. ESPN presented him with the opportunity to film a sports documentary and apparently he’s a huge Terry Fox fan so, voilà! The film is called “Into the Wind“. Nash says Americans don’t know much about Terry but he hopes to bring his story to their attention and inspire them as well. Check it out on the following networks and times (ET):

• ESPN on September 28 at 8:00 p.m.
• TSN2 on September 29 at 9:00 p.m.
• CTV on September 30 at 10:00 a.m. and 2:00 p.m.

GRANT: Well I’m definitely marking my calendar. I love Steve Nash and I love Terry Fox so I can’t wait to see this film. If any of you are parents out there, don’t forget that this Thursday (September 30) is the Terry Fox National School Run Day.

VICKY: Living a healthy lifestyle and doing a good deed for someone else (or a cause you believe in) are great life lessons that all kids should learn. I hope you’ll encourage your kids to participate in this great event!

GRANT: So, what’s your favourite part of the book so far?

VICKY: I just read about the initial struggles he went through as he started the run and what struck a nerve for me was how much he and his family were adamant about the donations going to the cause. Turn to page 13-14 and you’ll see how his intentions were so pure and good. This is my favourite excerpt so far: “If you give, your gift is pure charity, a gift from the heart, not one that benefits a company. No one was to profit from Terry’s run, ever.”

GRANT: I love that about him. I must admit though, the part about them in St. John’s and then Mayor Dorothy Wyatt was a riot! I laughed out loud when I read that chapter. I could see her running behind Terry and I could just imagine him being so polite and well mannered as she talked his ear off.

VICKY: Oh come on, she’s from back home so she’s harmless! I agree, that was pretty funny. Another part I found interesting was how little money they had to take on this adventure. Before reading this book, I didn’t realize the generosity they relied upon to get through each day. It’s amazing how Canadians just opened their homes to them and provided them with a hot shower and so on. There were so many gestures of goodwill and a wonderful show of patriotism that we rarely see in today’s “Me first” society.

GRANT: I completely agree. Anyone else have any first thoughts on this book? Let us know. Alright Vic, I’m off to read some more. As opposed to our last book, this one is a page turner!

Hey iRun readers – hope everyone had a great summer of racing!  This time of year always brings back memories of cross-country running in high school and university for me.  The crisp autumn air and the changing color of the leaves certainly makes it the ideal time of year to get out and do some trail running.  I figured this would be a great time to go over some differences between trail shoes and regular running shoes and whether or not they’re worth the extra money.

Probably one of the most obvious differences between trail shoes and regular running shoes is their more rugged structure.  Trail shoes often have re-enforced upper materials in order to protect your feet from poking sticks and rocks.  In addition, trail shoes often have a much higher density mid-sole material in order to alleviate bruising from below from rocks and roots.  I would debate that these features don’t necessarily reduce the risk of ankle sprains however these are definitely valuable features to have if you have more sensitive feet that feel bruised after a run on the trails, or if you are looking for something more durable.  

The main downside that I see to trail shoes is their lack of specific support with respect to the various foot types.  Because the majority of trail shoes are neutral, certain foot types may run into problems due to their lack of specific motion control.  In addition, because trail shoes are often heavier and stiffer, they don’t always work so well running on harder surfaces.

My general suggestion to most people asking whether or not to make the switch to trail shoes is to stick with their regular running shoes.  This way you have a familiar, comfortable fit that should work well on the majority of trails.  That being said, for those looking for extra durability or a little more protection from the elements, trail shoes can certainly offer that extra level of protection.

Happy trails!