For the second year in a row, my husband and I ran the Resolution Run with the kids in the stroller on Friday night. Although I tried to keep up with him pushing the stroller, about five minutes in, all I saw was the back of his sneakers speeding away*.

I ran my personal best 5k time at the end of a triathlon this summer (25 minutes) and haven’t been able to break it (or even come close, some days) since. Although there was no clock and I started my Nike+ App way too early, I *think* I broke 25 minutes. Steve had his stopwatch going and ran the 5k in 21 minutes. He said there was only a couple of minutes between him crossing and me crossing the finish line. So if it wasn’t 24-something, it was still a really good run.

My 4 year old was asking me why we run in races and I told her that it’s the fun part of running. It is, really. It’s near impossible to push yourself as hard on a regular run as you do in a race, even a small fun-run. The crowds, the energy, that person in front of you that you lock your eyes on and try to pass… It’s like a reward for the hard work and dreary, sometimes lonely, often difficult solo runs.

After the race, we came home to a house full of good friends. I put on sparkley things, more makeup than usual and we rang in the New Year. Then the next day we jumped into the Atlantic Ocean with a group of people equally crazy as us fun-loving individuals.

An unofficial (but likely) PB, a fun time with friends, and a very invigorating and renewing dip to ring in the New Year.

It’s a time of hope, expectation and potential. Happy New Year to you all, may 2011 bring you the strength to conquer your fears, surpass your goals and see the true beauty inside of you.

__________

*Not to imply that Steve abandoned me, we never run together. You always see those couples running races together – not us. Never will be. But the upside is that he’s always already at the finish line waiting for me and cheering loudly.

My younger daughter is two and a half. I understand about 90% of what she says. She’s out of diapers, out of a crib. She runs and jumps and climbs and torments her sister and showers us with “I love you’s”. But her body still holds the softness of a baby. The shape of her arms as she reaches across the table, “Mo’ gapes peeeeeese!!” She’s my last baby, we won’t have any more, and as she grows too quickly (as children are want to do), some days it seems like so much time has slipped through my hands already.

There’s no point in trying to catch it, as it runs, fine like sand, between my fingers and disappears, so I try to embrace these moments and make futile promises to myself that I’ll never, ever forget this wonderful toddler, the little girl that is starting to bud. I will forget, because that’s part of the cruelty of time.

For so many reasons, it feels like my little family is moving onto a new chapter, one that is pregnant with hope and expectation and possibility. But sometimes it makes me feel lost. You see, I spent the past five years having babies and nursing babies and caring for babies and now, even though my children are still very young, there are no diapers, no cribs, everyone can talk and be lectured to use their manners. Not that this is bad in any way… just different. But where does that lead me? Where do I fit now?

Exactly where you are, my husband answered me, Here, with us.

Just like I always have.

But I got to thinking as I lay in bed last night, that this year calls for some resolutions. Big, scary goals. I’m compiling a list, still, but my main one (as it applies here) is to run the Ottawa Marathon in May. In four hours and fifteen minutes. And to raise $7,000.00 for a charity along the way (haven’t decided which one yet).

Running makes me feel strong. Feeling strong makes me believe that I am strong, physically and mentally. Feeling strong mentally is what allows me to be the mother and wife and student and person that I want to be.

What about you? What are your goals (physical and/or otherwise) and how are you going to get there?

I went for a 12k run yesterday, and while I realize that a lot of Canada has been socked with more snow than they know what to do with, the East Coast definitely… hasn’t. So it was my first actual nippy run. Even my feet were cold!

Despite the fact that it feels that winter is never going to arrive (and especially not in time for Santa, which has many children dismayed, I’m sure), the reality is that surely it will, and surely it will be cold.

Personally, I’m a big winter running fan. Back when I was a fair-weather runner, I would have never considered running in the cold or snow. But my first half marathon (way back in 2004) was in May, and it required some chilly runs. I fell in love… and honestly? haven’t suffered many winter blues since. But that’s beyond the point.

So as I was running yesterday, I started thinking about what one would need for a winter running kit. I’ve decided to share some of my faves, and while it’s too late to add these things to your list for Santa, it’s always fun to shop the sales in January. A gift to you from the one who loves you the most, as my grandmother used to say (hint: that’s you).

What you’ll need:

Shirts: a combination of a short-sleeved and long-sleeved shirt, either layered together or by themselves, depending on how cold it is

Pants: a warm pair of leggings underneath your running tights/pants (some people swear by the wind-breaking pants, although I’ve never tried them)

Jacket: You’ll want something that breaks the wind. Personally, I wear an actual winder running jacket (that I bought at MEC in 2003 and is only now starting to become less water resistant), but I tend to get cold. I know my dad just wears a shell and is fine with his layers underneath. It really depends on your internal body temperature. But it *must* cut the wind, or else you’ll be cold.

Feet: I wear two pairs of socks. One super thin moisture wicking pair and then another thicker pair. For the type of weather I’ve been running in (damp, and just above freezing), I find that the thicker running socks (mine are from the Running Room) are fine. As it gets colder, I’ll switch to my longer Smart Wool socks, which are super cozy. Often through February, it’s impossible to run without getting cold feet, so on my very long runs, I stick skinny foot warmers on the bottoms of my socks.

Hands: I don’t actually have a pair of good running mitts and am kind of hoping to score a pair in my stocking. But I’ve tried many pairs over the years. Right now, I’ve been wearing old-school magic minis. Medium weight gloves or mitts are usually fine, and the Running Room sells a neat pair of gloves that have a mitt flap to cover your fingers. I definitely have to invest in a good pair, as I’ve signed up for the Hypothermic Half this year.

Heads: Toque! Toque! Toque! Both my husband and I swear by Smart Wool toques. Pricey, yes, but they are comfortable, slip off or twist as you run and very warm. Plus, they’re cute. I highly recommend them. Once the mercury drops a little lower, you’ll need something on your face, too. Under Armour makes an amazing balaclava. I don’t own many UA things because I find it offensively expensive, but my husband bought one before boarding the Rockies a few years ago, and it was really worth the $40-ish that it cost. We’ve both used it for our running, although since we`re both training for the Hypo Half, I think I`ll need my own this winter.

That`s all I can think of, but I“d love to hear about any of your personal must-haves.

I’ve been swamped lately. Regular end of term stress coupled with housework that never seems to get done and kids who are flirting with sickness. I’ve been so busy that I’ve been slacking on my runs. One or two a week, and because I’ve been running less, the runs have been harder. And because they’ve been harder, I’ve been less motivated to go. And because I’ve been less motivated to go, I run less. And, well, you get the picture.

At times like these, I always feel like I’m not a “real” runner. What with the lagging motivation, it seems that surely I’m not actually someone who loves to run, merely a fair weather runner.

Yesterday after I sent my kids to daycare, I sat down at the computer and started working on my term paper. By early afternoon my brain was turning to mush, so I laced up my five-day-old sneakers for their inaugural run.

The air was cool enough for a jacket and toque, my feet thumped on the pavement and I knew within the first 200 metres that it was going to be good.

A relaxing 10k and by the time I was home, I felt amazing. I had shaken off all of my stress about school and family and friends and over-extended to-do lists. The dog and I came home and I stretched while she panted happily beside me.

Runs like that, the ones that happen exactly when you need them, exactly when your faith in…. whatever… is running low, that’s why I run. Because it’s good for me, and I don’t mean in that Doctor’s recommendation kind of way.

The world seems a better place today. It snowed last night and a white skiff is covering the roads and trees. The kids are happily watching their morning cartoon while I sip my tea. There’s still laundry to be run and bathrooms to be cleaned and an enormous term paper to be completed, but it doesn’t seem so overwhelming today.

And I can’t wait to get out for that first snowy run.