At the end of summer, I decided (by way of promising my husband) that I wasn’t going to weigh myself anymore.

What good does it do?

I (honestly and truly) don’t believe that “Healthy Weight Ranges” and “BMI” are accurate or healthy portrayals of human bodies. I am lean, short and dense. And have been pretty much my whole life. I am on the upper end of my healthy weight range (due to muscle mass which is never accounted for) and in a mid-to-high BMI range.

I also have extremely defined legs, a lean and (mostly) flat stomach, and a decent amount of muscle on my upper body.

What I’m saying is that I’m lean. And neither of those two calculators tell me that I am. They tell me that lighter is better. End of story.

There was never a scale in my house growing up. And I thank my mother for that. So scales and weight and really even my pants size meant nothing to me. Because I was healthy and confident and active my entire life. And then I got pregnant and had a baby.

The first time, I gained a ton of weight. I don’t know exactly how much because I was under midwife care and (God bless them), they realized that each half pound really didn’t need to be documented. And then, due to the lack of scale in my own house, after I had the baby, I ran and ate well and lost a lot of weight. I headed back to Weight Watchers for a couple months just before my wedding and dropped 10lbs fast, but there wasn’t an obsession. I had lost close to 60 lbs in less than a year! Go me! I felt great!

After my second daughter was born, I decided to join Weight Watchers immediately (well, when she was five weeks old). I lost all the weight I had gained during pregnancy in five months. Go me!

But something had taken hold. This obsessed little voice wanted 140lbs. And then it wanted 135lbs. And then it wanted to lose more because it feels so good when you step on a scale and the lady congratulates you because you are lighter.

Fast forward three years and two marathons and a lot more muscle mass and I think right now I probably weigh more than I did at my lightest during my WW stint. I like my body better, it’s stronger and leaner, but’s it’s heavier.

The scale is a beshitted mistress. You lose two pounds and all you can think about is the next two. You gain five pounds and you feel like crap. It’s a horrible cycle that means nothing and does nothing to increase or promote your self-esteem long term.

So I quit it.

And then I didn’t.

I’ve been hiking with weights and running and doing core exercises at night and I have been feeling really good and strong and lean. I was in the gym a month ago and looked up from tying my laces and the scale whispered to me: Hey! Kaitlyn! You are looking *good* girl! I see a shimmer of definition on that stomach. You have been working hard…. you know? I bet you’ve lost weight. You are going to feel even *better* when see you that you’ve lost at least, like…. 5lbs? Maybe even 7. Wouldn’t that be something? Come here, just for a sec…

So I did. I gulped down the feeling of guilt (because I promised that I wouldn’t) and stepped on the scale. I excitedly adjusted the weight and…. I was one pound heavier than last time.

Tell me it’s muscle, tell me it’s water bloat, tell me I was stupid to do it in the first place. It doesn’t matter because it made me feel like crap. For three freaking weeks. Because I hadn’t lost weight. Because out of everything awesome that has been going on in my life, all I could see was that an irrelevant number hadn’t changed. How messed up is that?

I realized, of course, that it was the number that made me feel that way, that erased my hard work in the blink of an eye. But it took a long time for that crappy feeling to lift, to be honest.

It lifted and I feel great again. I feel strong and competent and happy. I’m not saying that I’ll never again be tempted to weight myself, but I am saying this: I am 100% happier without a scale in my life. Because the number. Doesn’t. Matter. It does not define you as a person. You are not your weight or your BMI or pants size.

You are YOU. Strong and wonderful and beautiful and funny!

And so am I.

The Canadian Centre for Running Excellence and  Speed River Track and Field Club are one step closer to their dream of making Guelph, Ontario into the “Running Capital of Canada” with the receipt of a $99,500 investment from the Ontario Trillium Foundation.

The funding will be used to purchase much-needed equipment for the Guelph Track Project.  According to the press release:

Among these items will be age-appropriate implements that will allow athletes of all ages in the community to participate in the sport. The equipment will be readily available for other user groups within the area to borrow and use for their track and field needs. “We have a very high demand for the use of quality equipment in the area and this is going to be a huge factor in creating access for people of all abilities and ages. We’re proud of our role in helping motivate and create a more fit, physically skilled, and enthusiastic population,” commented the Speed River and University of Guelph Head Coach Dave Scott-Thomas. “I’ve built a lot of stuff in my garage over the years and it will be great to have quality gear that we don’t need to lug around just to get a basic practice in.”

The indoor field house component of the Guelph Track Project is slated for completion in May 2012, and progress on the outdoor facility, including an 8-lane track, continues to move forward.  The new equipment will be housed by the University of Guelph, where the facility will be located.

Here in Halifax, we had a big snowstorm on Wednesday. And so yesterday I donned my toque and mitts and went for my first “winter” run of the season.

I loved it! The cold air, the freshness in the air that freshly fallen snow leaves behind, even the dark clouds. It made me feel all cozy inside.

It’s been about four winters now, that I’ve consistently run outside (as opposed to just hibernating and eating my way through winter) and every year, I love it more. Heat and sunscreen and humidity? No thanks! But some cold air, a damp toque at the end of a run and a hot bath? Yes please!!!

I’ve signed up for the Hypothermic Half and while I’ve been itching for a long-ish run, I didn’t have time this week. I’m planning on getting in some 15-20k runs through December.

(I’ve also been flirting with the idea of another marathon. Which is ridiculous since I am actually too busy to train for PEI or the Marathon by the Sea – even though I kind of want to. What about training but not aiming for a PB? to be honest, I don’t even know if I have that kind of relaxed attitude in me.)

Anyway, what about you? Is it cold and snowy where you are or still crazy mild? How are you keeping yourself on track this winter? Tell me all about it!

Jan Ditchfield(l) Shelley Ann Morris(m) and Robin Hardage(r) (Shelley Ann’s Guide)

By: Shelley Ann Morris

In July 2010, I wrote down a goal: in 2011 I would complete my first Sprint distance triathlon.

Getting involved with Won With One, Canada’s first Blind/Visually-impaired triathlon team, was the first step.  Previously, I’d done 5 and 10K runs and 17 CN Tower Stair Climbs.  My sister had just completed her first marathon—it was time for me to take on a new challenge, too.  Triathlon’s variety of swimming, biking and running appealed to me as it could help me to develop all-round fitness.  Through friends, I was introduced to Jan Ditchfield, the team’s Executive Director.  Before I knew it, I was part of this national family of triathletes.  Acceptance onto this team is not solely based on prior athleticism–a positive, can-do attitude is as mandatory as our tethers and bike helmets.  Our team is comprised of people with various degrees of vision and different athletic goals—some aspire to paralympic gold while others, like me, aspired to completing my first sprint distance.  We are united by a drive to compete in triathlon and to show the sighted world that a lack of vision need not mean a lack of participation.

In order to prepare well, I joined the Ottawa Triathlon Club’s Triathlon Training Program (TTP), which runs from January until August.  During the winter months we train on spinning bikes and then finish with some muscular strength and core exercises.  When the nicer weather comes, our sessions on the bike are followed by a ‘brick’ run outdoors with a strength and stretch component afterward.  We are also encouraged to join in the additional track workouts and open-water swims.  I also do some of my workouts at the Dovercourt Recreation Centre and some classes for blind/visually-impaired participants at the Jack Purcell Community Centre here in Ottawa.

Throughout the year, I prepare for the annual CN Tower Stair Climb in April and then a number of runs and triathlons from May until October. This year, I did my first Try-a-tri, 3 sprint distance triathlons and a number of 5 and 10K runs.

I have been very fortunate to always have wonderful guides without whom I could not participate.  Robyn Hardage is an experienced triathlete who completed her first half-iron distance this year.  She shared her passion for triathlon with me during our training sessions, the Try-a-tri, our first Sprint Distance in Peterborough and another at Sand Lake Ontario.  Guide and triathlete must work as one brain, two bodies.  Amber Lee Ficociello did a fantastic job guiding me in Kelowna B.C. –we worked really well in sync—quite an amazing feat as we live four provinces apart and had never met until one day before race day!  Our guides share their enthusiasm for the sport—without them, we would be forced to stay on the sidelines.  Thankfully my guides were experienced triathletes who taught me a lot–everything from riding a tandem bike to getting me out of my wet suit.  They were dealing with a real ‘newbie’ and did it so well.

My sister Colleen Bird was my first guide.  A runner, she encouraged me to take up the sport even when I complained “I can’t run!” She never let me say “Can’t!”  We ran our first 5K three years ago.  Our parents are so proud of us!  Our father ran marathons and is pleased to see that both his daughters are following quite literally in his footsteps.  George Hajecek is a volunteer in the blind/Visually-impaired fitness class—I introduced him to Won With One and he guided his first triathlete to a first-place victory in July 2011.  As sanctioned races disqualify mixed teams, George and I stick to running.  We have successfully completed three 10K runs this year.

In 2012, I look forward to competing in two compulsory competitions—K-town in Kingston, Ontario in July and the Sand Lake Triathlon at the end of August.  I will also do my share of runs, and an 18^th trip up the CN Tower stairs.

Jan Ditchfield and our other supporters work tirelessly to make sure that we can compete in triathlons all over North America—a challenge as there are numerous hurdles, creating athlete-guide pairs and having to constantly search for funding sources and sponsorships.  Jan is a true miracle worker–her passion and belief in our team is strongly evidenced by the many barriers she has broken down.  Our coach, Cathy Rober provides us with all kinds of practical tips and suggestions both on a team and an individual level.

Our participation calls for logistical expertise as moving large numbers of tandems, getting wetsuits and tethers, matching guides with athletes and informing race directors of our needs takes time, effort, patience, diplomacy, assertiveness and the ability to educate others. Triathlon can be an expensive sport, and the costs skyrocket when the accommodation needs of blind athletes are included. Jan and the team work with dogged determination to find funding and sponsorship sources, for which we are very grateful.

No triathlete is complete without the right gear.  I knew nothing about what to bring or what I should wear. Thankfully, more seasoned triathletes helped me with checklists and lots of phone calls and emails. Won With One helped me to get all that I needed, right down to my shoes.  We are thankful that Mizuno Canada supports us where athlete meets the ground—I know that the shoes make a big difference to our performance.

All athletes have said that being part of the Won with One Triathlon team has been ‘life-changing.’  Along with being a fitter, faster 49-year-old, I am doing things that one year ago were out of my realm of possibilities. I can now run hands-free while tethered on a treadmill.  Thanks to some coaching from a teammate, I am now using Facebook!

Along with running in on that home stretch, it’s a proud moment when the team–guides and athletes alike–ride in on our big tandem bikes en masse.  Everyone is looking at us as our trusty steeds are rather noticeable.  We are smiling proudly, saying “This is how WE roll!”

On December 31, 2010, iRun Award honouree Martin Parnell celebrated the year end by running a marathon – his 250^th of the year, the grand finale of his Marathon Quest 250 benefitting Right to Play.

This December 31, if you are in the neighbourhood of Cochrane, Alberta, you can join him once again on the Marathon Quest 250 Annual Run/Walk at the Spray Lake Sawmills Family Sports Centre for a marathon, half marathon, 10k, 5k or 2.5k – all consisting of 2.5-kilometre loops along the stunning Bow River.  Registration is simply a donation to Right to Play and anyone can join in the fun.  There’s only one aid station, but it’s the Guy’s Bakery Super Aid Station, and if you run the marathon, you will get to enjoy it 17 times.

If you can’t make it out, keep an eye on the Marathon Quest 250 website – Parnell is keeping it up to date with all of the details of his Quests for Kids – an undertaking involving 10 quests in five years, raising $1-million for Right to Play.  Quest 1 was, of course, Marathon Quest 250; Quest 2 was Netball Quest 61, a 61-hour game of netball, designed to break the Guinness Book of World Records time for longest continuous game of netball.  Each quest will be specifically designed to encourage kids to be active and to work towards that $1-million goal.

Rick Hellard is the head coach of Zone3sports in Ottawa, is a lifelong running addict and Mizuno fan. He’s also made or seen just about every mistake under the sun, making him a world-class expert in oops-prevention!

Check out Rick’s helpful Dynamic Stretching video:

I’m four weeks in to coaching the spring season of the Halifax chapter of Team in Training. It’s been…. amazing.

The first week was all excitement and buzz in the room before the run. There were nervous exclamations and tentative goals announced and breath huffed out into steamy puffs in the cold November air.

There have been some minor injuries, some discouraging runs, some heartfelt conversations about affirming goals. But most of all? There has been so much inspiration.

I watch them struggle and succeed. I read their Facebook statuses and I am constantly awed by these people. To say nothing of the reason they’re running, to say nothing of the insane amounts of money this group has pledged to raise, but to watch them start from scratch and promise to run a half-marathon, to run a full marathon. That is something I never, ever had the courage to do.

I’m cautious, terrified of failure, and so I step tentatively and quietly until I am sure that I am ready, sure that I will reach my goal. But these courageous people, who decide to train for very, very long distances without having run more than 5k or 10k or something even 2k. And they don’t do it quietly! They post it on Facebook and tell their friends and family. They do it loudly and for a reason.

I’m running for my grand-mother.
I’m running for my father.
I’m running for my wife.
For my child.
For my neighbour’s child.
I’m running for thanks, because we are healthy.

And they thank me, every week, for encouragement and support and advice. But what they don’t see, what I’m not really sure that they understand, is that I’m the one who should thank them.

For showing me how brave and beautiful people can be. For welcoming me into the place that makes tears spring to my eyes every Saturday – tears of thanks and of empathy. These wonderful, welcoming, people who are so willing to learn and train and make a difference in the world – they are amazing. And I am so, so lucky to know them.