Don’t Say Anything Negative

I spent last week in Disney World with my husband, parents, 10 year old brother-in-law and of course, my two beautiful daughters. (They were over the moon. Seriously. We went on It’s a Small World three times.)

At one point, in a bathroom somewhere in the Magic Kingdom, I watched as a mother washed her hands, 10(ish) year old daughter beside her, then turned to the mirror and said, Let’s see how bad I look.

Every ounce of my body screamed Nooo!!! because those kind of statements are wrong on so many levels. We are so programmed to be critical of ourselves that we don’t see the real harm that negativity possesses.

What does that statement tell her daughter? What does that teach her about her own self worth? How does that woman’s view of herself affect her relationships?

I go to gym at my university and the private school across the street uses the facilities for their gym classes. The girls stream in, 13, 14, 15 years old and parade past the mirrors.

Ugh. My hair.
Ohmaigawd these shorts look bad!
I hate getting sweaty.

And on and on and on. I want to grab them by the shoulders and shake them because this is no way to develop your self-esteem. Minimizing yourself is not the way to achieve success!

Why do these girls speak to themselves this way? Once you see the fault in negative words and thoughts, you begin to see them everywhere. And you begin to see how utterly toxic they are.

I’m constantly watched by two pairs of eyes, and I see that in the way my girls play (like last week, when the “mommy” in the game made the dog stay outside in the muddy yard because the floors had just been mopped). They watch my actions, but they also see more than people give them credit for. I try to set a healthy example for them, we talk about food as fuel and energy. We talk about the ways to keep your body healthy (eat good food, exercise, don’t smoke). And even last week while we were away, when my 4 year old asked me if I was going to go for a run soon, I told her that we were on vacation. She looked at me puzzled and I said it was a vacation from running, too.

I read a challenge yesterday: Don’t day anything negative about anyone for three days. Then for 45 days. Then for three months.

I’m doing it. You should too. Just don’t forget that you have to include yourself in there, too.