11 weeks (and counting)

In 2004 I ran my first half marathon (it was the first Bluenose Marathon). My parents wanted to come up to cheer for me but I discouraged them. I didn’t want to make a big deal about it. I had actually never run a race before, but it seemed silly to ask them to drive all the way to Halifax only to see me run for ten seconds. So they didn’t.

I crossed the finish line with no one I knew present. Hopefully you’ve never had a similar experience, but it’s a pretty lonely and anti-climactic feeling. I stood around for a few minutes after the race and then walked home (sad trombone).

Sucky, yeah, but definitely a lesson learned. I never, ever discourage anyone from coming to cheer at a race now. Even my younger brother who wants to fly from Vancouver to watch me run Ottawa, I was honest and told him I’d love for him to be there. My parents will go and my kids and husband will be there. It makes a big difference to know that there are people cheering for you specifically.

Last week I was feeling pretty grumpy about the whole running thing. Tired, cranky, busy in other aspects of my life… for whatever reason, I wasn’t feeling positive. I started speed training and it sucked. I wrote a bad exam. My legs were heavy on my weekly Wednesday 8k, you name it.

But yesterday, I met with my new personal trainer for the first time (I say new, but we’ve actually known each other for a long time. He used to train my varsity rugby team waaaaaayyy back in my undergrad days). I plan on seeing him once a week for the next ten weeks. After our session yesterday, I was re-enthused. Sure, my butt and hamstrings can definitely attest to the fact that he’s no slacker, but it feels like I just let one more person into my corner.

I signed our contract, but not before pointing to the part of it that claimed not to guarantee results. “I want results. I want 4:15,” I told him. He scoffed at it and said, “With me, there are results.”

And I believe it. Because I’m letting people into my cheering section, and because I have an awesome trainer, but mostly? Because I want it so, so bad. And I truly believe that I will achieve it.