Why is it that I can stand in a starting corral with 9,999 other people and remain focussed on the task at hand, yet the very idea of going to a mall in December makes me want to hide under the bed until April? I’m not entirely sure, but here are a few reasons…
In a race when there is limited parking there are usually shuttle buses. At the mall, you wait patiently for a space, only to lose it to someone coming from the other direction.
In a race, the runners are all going in the same direction. At the mall, you risk being stepped on, cut off, darted in front of, or squeezed out, all between the two sets of front doors.
In a race, there is etiquette around passing, and even if people don’t follow it, at least you’re all going in the same direction. At the mall, see above.
At a race, there are huge restroom line ups, but they move pretty quickly. At the mall, there are huge restroom line ups and they barely move at all.
In a race, when you need refreshment, there are volunteers happily holding out cups for you. At the mall, you have to stand in line, pay far too much for something that isn’t good for you, and try not to spill it.
In a race, people cheer for you and point you in the right direction. At the mall, people swear at you and tell you where to go.
At a race, when you get to the finish line, there are usually enough medals for everyone; when there aren’t, you get a sincere apology and information on how the situation will be rectified. At the mall, you are told gruffly that they are all out of iPods, but that you are welcome to buy a lavender sachet and a sweatshirt with kittens instead.
In a race, when you cross the finish line, you’re finished. At the mall, you will invariably forget something or someone, and will have to go back.
Got more for me? Feel free to add them below!