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    Crash and Burn

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    I’ve been running regularly for about 5 years now and as with most newbie runners, I dove in head first. I became, well, a little obsessed. I loved that I was improving my speed and strength, I was thrilled when I clocked my first double digit run and I was euphoric when I surpassed the 10 mile mark.

    However, most of these accomplishments were very goal-driven. I have considered myself goal-oriented, (it says so right on my resume) but I didn’t think I was ‘driven’.

    Last year I set a crazy goal to run 1,0110 kms. This was based on nothing other than it sounded like a good number to ring in  2011. Considering that I lacked training and a solid support system to get me there, well, I just didn’t get there. I did manage to run over 700 kms last year, so yes, that’s an accomplishment. I don’t look back on that year as a failure; I see it as a lesson.

    It took me a while to learn that lesson. Most of my running is goal based; training for a race, setting a time goal, setting a distance goal. Every training run has a purpose. If I don’t log at least 30mins of steady running I feel it was a waste of time.

    I slowly lost interest in pursuing those goals. The pressure was just too much. Mind you, it’s pressure I put on myself, so I have no one else to blame. And blame I did.

    Long story short, I wasn’t  running with purpose, in fact I wasn’t really running at all. Which made me feel guilty.

    It’s really hard to run with 5 months of guilt on your back.

    So…I lost my run-love. You know what I mean? I had to readjust my thinking. My fresh new outlook on running is to lose the guilt and find a new purpose to running. To remember to run for the enjoyment of it, to strengthen my body and have some ‘me’ time.

    Have you ever lost your run-love? How did you get it back?

     

    2 COMMENTS

    1. I’ve lost it over the last year or so as well. I’m still working on figuring out how to get it back, so I’m hoping this blog will provide some inspiration for me!

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